the weekend.

Monday, February 26, 2018

Another bittersweet weekend with my love. Cuddles, movies, tacos, cheese curds (the best cheese curds in Wisconsin omggggah), wine and as always, not enough time. 

Pros of being a busy graduate student dating a busy resident long distance:
  1. You completely understand each other's terrible schedules. 
  2. Rarely (if ever) will you hear, “you don’t make time for me” because neither of you has time to consider what life with spare time looks like. 
  3. Study dates where you actually study. 
  4. You’ll be forced to think of creative ways to spend quality time together. 
  5. You’ll learn patience. (So. Much. Patience.)

Cons of being a busy graduate student dating a busy resident long distance

  1. The distance sucks. Particularly when you're in need of a hug or cuddle. 
  2. Scheduling time and transportation (depending on the distance) can be a real pain. 
  3. It can take extra effort to not drift apart.
  4. Arguments over tiny things can become colossal and make the distance even more evident. 
  5. Feeling obligated to do things you wouldn't normally do (or not do things that you would do) because of the limited amount of time you have. 

Making it work: 

  1. Stay connected: Alana and I FaceTime more often than the average couple (I'm positive) because it makes us feel more conencted. Even if we're just studying, I get to be a part of her daily life.
  2. Communicate well: Say what you mean, mean what you say, say it regularly. Be mindful of your SO's feelings and be sure to keep the lines of communication open. Don't let things fester because being long distance makes mental distance an even bigger deal. 
  3. Be best friends: I think this goes for any relationship but developing a friendship helps you to have realistic ideals about your relationship, communicate better and brings you closer. 
  4. Make date night a priority: We have movie date night at least every other weekend and I make it a point to keep that time reserved for us. Just because you're long distance doesn't mean that you don't have to make time for dates. As a matter of fact, you have to try harder. 
  5. Share expenses: LDRs are expensive. Flights and dinners and all of the other costs that come along with dating at a distance - they add up. This can become a point of tension unless you are both upfront about what is affordable and acceptable. Talk a lot. Plan well. 
  6. Be proud of your relationship: There are few things worse than dating someone who is ashamed and worried about other people's opinions of their relationship. You will take your relationship for granted - cancelled plans, blowing your SO off for IRL hangouts and basically being a crappy person to date. Remember, other people will take your relationship as seriously as you do. 

*le sigh* I'll be waiting for the next time I get to see this lovely face. In the meantime, would you do long distance? If you're in an LDR, how do you make it work? 

Kinky In The Lab: 5 Pro Tips

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

This is not a post about lab romances. But if it were I’d say, stay away from lab romances. This is a post about hair. In particular, Black hair.

Kinky hair can be particularly fragile and being in graduate school isn’t exactly friendly to the copious amounts of tlc it requires. Additionally, IT’S EXPENSIVE to keep your hair up. I don’t know about you but my stipend doesn’t really cover monthly hair appointments. So, here are a few things that I’ve learned to prevent myself from getting a fade until graduate school is over.

1. Keep it simple.

Keep your regimen as basic as possible. You’ll have the urge to do day long henna and deep conditioning regimens but RESIST. Save super long regimens for holidays and long weekends and keep your daily/weekly routine down to the bare minimum.

I cowash 2-3 times a week and mist conditioner and a light oil onto my hair every night.

2. Protective styling

MAJOR KEY. Doing hairstyles that you can keep up for more than a day is not only better for our fragile strands but a huge time saver!

My go-to styles are two-strand twists, flat twists, braids, and the occasional sew-in.

3. DIY

This one is more about the expense of hair. Getting braids or sew-ins and even finding a salon that is skilled in styling Black hair can be tough on the wallet. Learn to do some of your own styling. (Or phone a friend!!) You’ll appreciate the coins you save.

I do my own two-strand twists, sew-ins and braids. *DISCLAIMER* I often ask my mom and cousin for help!

4. TWA

Just saying. Rocking that twa will end all of your woes. I’m still considering it.

5. Love your hair.

We spend a lot of time making sure our hair looks good. Make sure you’re doing it for YOU and not to look presentable for someone else. Those kinks are yours and no matter how you wear them you deserve respect. If you’re over everything and you rock that messy bun for a week…or two. Oh well. Own that bun girl! Frizz and all. I know I do.

Storytime: Accidental Baldy

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash


Note! I wrote this in 2012 after a VERY BAD DAY. Enjoy. ;-) 

So, I'm sitting here watching reruns of the Monday night VH1 lineup that I missed this week (has nothing to do with anything, I was just making you aware of my addiction to bad male actors and junk tv) and I've decided to tell you guys about the most horrible learning experience I've had to date. I was going to stay in the house for the next couple of weeks and just keep it to myself but it's quite funny in a sad, bald, cried a lot of tears before I could laugh about it, kind of way.

I AM BALD. Now those of you who know me are probably thinking, "Yeah, what's new?" but no, no, no. I don't mean the fairly low haircut I've been rocking for the past year or so, I mean Mr. Clean, Michael Jordan, front of Stevie Wonder's head -----> BALD. Now let me tell you how this came to be.

Earlier this summer I put in an application with the Center for Disease Control. After totally giving up hope of hearing back, I got a call last week from a nice young lady saying that they wanted me to come to Atlanta for an interview She set up my interview for Tuesday, June 17 @ 1:30pm at the CDC in Chamblee, GA.

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